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Hmm, so the moving process is speeding up considerably fast, and it's all stressing me out a bit. To avoid getting too specific, I'm going to have to move sometime within the next month, which means clearing out an entire family home and also finding a place for us to live. I'm no good with logistics, plus I have severe fatigue issues, so I don't know how I'm expected to do all this with very little support (more on that later). We don't exactly have a stellar budget either and live in a very expensive area, so I'm personally considering moving out of the region. The main issue is getting my family on board with such a long distance (good riddance to this place, I say), though secondarily it's a lot of social issues.
This isn't something I want to go into great detail on, but I recently had a one-sided falling out with my group of friends. Things just generally got complicated with me being the one woman in the group and the rest being men, and some things happened that made me uncomfortable being around them right now. I don't know if things will improve, because I already attempted reaching out to everyone and it just generally made me feel worse. Some more direct emotional support would be helpful, but that doesn't seem like it's in the cards. It's a shame. I don't know if communication would help, I just feel like everything has blown up in my face and I'm the only one seriously upset to this degree. Oh well.
Anyway, my only other friend in the area has also talked about moving, so my attachment to this place has practically dwindled to nothing. I decided a few months ago that I need to focus on making more local friends, and I'm relying very heavily on this move to put me in a better place. I need somewhere with good public transit since I can't drive, and I want to live somewhere suitable enough for a young person while also appeasing my family's need for quiet and safety. I really desperately need to be able to have easy access to the music scene, which either means living in the epicenter or having transit options. I have one place I really would like to go, but again, this depends on my family's receptivity to the idea. Then I'd have to deal with the issue of figuring things like insurance, getting a new ID, finding new medical providers... oh, how I hate dealing with bureaucracy...
On another note... I decided because of all the stress I'm gonna try microdosing again. I really just need an extra boost that my medication isn't giving me. I'm maybe an hour or so into this dose and I have that weird head feeling I had on the trip (this is the same strain) but nothing weird. I feel a bit more sensitive though, which is not exactly ideal. I may take a smaller amount next time. It at least seems to have slowed down my brain a bit and soothed my anxiety. I don't think I'm going to make much progress on anything related to moving today, so I'll just put it off to tomorrow. Today I just want to relax, do my work, maybe create some art, and talk to my online friends.
The least I can do is make a list of things to take care of going forward. I wish I had some more emotional support, but what can you do?
This isn't something I want to go into great detail on, but I recently had a one-sided falling out with my group of friends. Things just generally got complicated with me being the one woman in the group and the rest being men, and some things happened that made me uncomfortable being around them right now. I don't know if things will improve, because I already attempted reaching out to everyone and it just generally made me feel worse. Some more direct emotional support would be helpful, but that doesn't seem like it's in the cards. It's a shame. I don't know if communication would help, I just feel like everything has blown up in my face and I'm the only one seriously upset to this degree. Oh well.
Anyway, my only other friend in the area has also talked about moving, so my attachment to this place has practically dwindled to nothing. I decided a few months ago that I need to focus on making more local friends, and I'm relying very heavily on this move to put me in a better place. I need somewhere with good public transit since I can't drive, and I want to live somewhere suitable enough for a young person while also appeasing my family's need for quiet and safety. I really desperately need to be able to have easy access to the music scene, which either means living in the epicenter or having transit options. I have one place I really would like to go, but again, this depends on my family's receptivity to the idea. Then I'd have to deal with the issue of figuring things like insurance, getting a new ID, finding new medical providers... oh, how I hate dealing with bureaucracy...
On another note... I decided because of all the stress I'm gonna try microdosing again. I really just need an extra boost that my medication isn't giving me. I'm maybe an hour or so into this dose and I have that weird head feeling I had on the trip (this is the same strain) but nothing weird. I feel a bit more sensitive though, which is not exactly ideal. I may take a smaller amount next time. It at least seems to have slowed down my brain a bit and soothed my anxiety. I don't think I'm going to make much progress on anything related to moving today, so I'll just put it off to tomorrow. Today I just want to relax, do my work, maybe create some art, and talk to my online friends.
The least I can do is make a list of things to take care of going forward. I wish I had some more emotional support, but what can you do?
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